Have you ever walked away from a situation and thought about the perfect answer that you could’ve given? It often happens when we have somebody give us a piece of their mind and we think about the perfect reply when the situation is long over. Every once in a while, however, you think of that perfect reply and if you have the nerve to do it, you know what is going to come off perfect. This man was standing in line at Tesco when he was asked a really stupid question. Rather than just shrugging it off and walking away, he answered and you are going to laugh out loud when you hear it.
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco’s store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I’m now banned from Tesco’s.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.