Ask any parent and they will tell you, raising children is hard work. Perhaps you have experienced it yourself and it seems as if there is always something that needs to be done. It doesn’t matter if we are trying to break up arguments between siblings or if we are just trying to make it through the day, we often find that we are struggling to get by. There is no doubt, sometimes we can get overwhelmed when we have kids.
Many mothers will seek out other mothers so that they can have some adult interaction and can talk about their problems with somebody who really understands. If you have children that are about the same age, it can be even better. Perhaps you have a special friend with children and you go to a public park to enjoy the day. Play dates are wonderful and as the kids spend some time together, you get to talk with somebody your own age.
Carolyn Hax is an advice columnist and a mother reached out to her during a live chat. She has a daughter and she’s been meeting with other mothers and their daughters at a local park.
Everything was fine until another mother decided to show up at the park and she brought her son with her.
The mother admitted “I asked her (nicely, I thought) if she would mind leaving because we had wanted it to be a girls-only time.”
Keep in mind that this is a public park.
The mother explained further: “She refused and seemed angry at me. If she comes back, is there a better way I can approach her? This has been such a sweet time for moms and daughters and having a boy there is naturally going to change things.”
Do you have a son? How would you feel if you were told to leave the park by a mother because they wanted some girl time? It might not sit all that well.
The mom continues, “We live in a world where boys get everything and girls are left with the crumbs, and I would think this mom would realize that, but she seems to think her son is entitled to crash this girls-only time.”
Hax’s response? “Goddess help us all.” She tells the mom that “shooing off the mom and her boy was terrible…That kid is a human being–not with privileged little man feelings, either, but with feelings, period.”
As far as girls being “left with the crumbs,” Hax says, “the adult you shooed off is a mom, possessor of the same crumbs you’ve been fed, no? So don’t you think she would have just liked to hang with some fellow moms in the park while she was out with her child?”
She has a valid point! The recommendation was to keep the group gatherings at a private location rather than doing it in public where people might be excluded.
It sounds like a reasonable solution. There certainly is nothing wrong with having a girls-only gathering but when you are telling other mothers to leave a public location, you cross the line.