In any loving family relationship, the connection we have with their mothers is going to be quite special. We want to make sure we keep them up on the latest, even many years after we leave home.
When we call our mothers, it may be for any number of different reasons. We want to tell them about the grandkids or perhaps we want to tell them about what happened during our day. There are sometimes when we just want to share a joke.
If it’s been a while since you’ve laughed with your mother, you will want to pay close attention to the jokes we have for you below. It’s a long of jokes and you can share them all with your mothers because they are all about mothers!
The best part is, there are 30 of them so you can call your mother every day of the month and have something new to discuss. Enjoy.
1
I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He said, “Call for backup.”
2
“My mum just bought our cat a Christmas stocking even tho we are muslims and don’t even celebrate Christmas?? She was like “We don’t know what religion he is we can’t force him to be muslim” he’s a cat?!?!”
3
“Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that’s not allowed if the baby is yours.”
4
A kid asks his dad, “What’s a man?” The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.” The kid says, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
5
When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
6
“My 4YO fell off his scooter, and before I could help him, he stood up, dusted off, and whispered to himself, “shake it off big dawg.”
I’ve never been more confused about whether something was a parenting win or fail.”
7
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
8
Daughter: Mom, I need my personal space!
Mom: You came out of my personal space.
9
Kid: What’s for dinner?
Mom: Food.
Kid: What kind?
Mom: The kind you eat.
10
“I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” – Reese Witherspoon
11
You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
12
Mom’s recipe for iced coffee:
Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
13
*In Mary Poppin’s voice* “Kids, time to go!”
15 minutes later… *Christian Bale’s Batman voice* “I said, let’s go.”
14
“Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.”
15
“I’ve conquered a lot of things… blood clots in my lungs — twice, knee and foot surgeries, winning Grand Slams being down match point, to name just a few. But I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!” – Serena Williams
16
“Mom, stop you are not funny. You never make good jokes.”
“I made you.”
17
“At my daughter’s 4-year checkup, the doctor said she should be eating a varied diet and to make sure she’s eating a good amount from each food group and I think she said a bit about trying new foods but not sure cause I got distracted wondering if she’d ever actually met a 4yo.”
18
“I just watched my child individually pick off and eat every sprinkle on the donut I gave her. She has the patience for that, but can’t wait 30 seconds for me to pee by myself.”
19
Nothing is really lost until Mom can’t find it.
20
“My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.”
21
“I’m not saying parenthood is hard, I’m just saying I was a LOT better at it before I had kids.”
22
“Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?” – Michelangelo’s mother
23
“When my kid tells me they got hurt doing exactly what I told them to stop doing so they wouldn’t get hurt, I say, “Oh noooooo…””
24
Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.
25
“My kids are never better friends than when it’s 30 minutes past bedtime, and they won’t stop giggling.”
26
“My mom once asked me to close the patio door because I was “letting the WiFi out.”
27
“I love to play hide-and-seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.”
28
“My 4yo grabbed the egg off my egg and cheese sandwich, put it on her plate, took a bite of it, and then grabbed the rest in her hand, squeezed it shut, and handed it back to me saying she didn’t want it anymore. And this… THIS is why I can’t have nice things.”
29
“I always thought I’d be a patient mom, but I don’t like who I become 30 seconds into my son’s guided tour of his Minecraft village.”
30
“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” – Chrissy Teigen